Kitty Journal 30 - The Sum of All Fear

Today, I send Neko-chan to the vet. I have suspected Neko-chan is sick since Thursday but never realised it was something serious and dangerous. Since she spend most of her time lying down and sleeping, I never realized that she had lost a lot of weight. It was until I saw her walking around, that it got me thinking, "She's so thin". Then it hit me, have I really seen her eating heartily? I realized then I haven't seen her eat much. I guess I thought she was bored of the kibble that I gave them, since my other cats doesn't eat a lot either lately. But as I looked at her more, I became worried. Though I delayed sending her to the vet, didn't want to be too protective I guess. Maybe I was too obsessed with my cats but that was my biggest mistake. I am still pondering why I didn't send her to vet quickly. I have no answer. I should say I am a bad owner, a bad mother no less. I am ashamed and angry at myself.

I bought her wet food and was more surprised she barely ate it. She just licks the juice and not eat the chunks of juicy chicken. That was very alarming. I knew something was really wrong but the vet has already closed and the next day was a public holiday. After some thinking, I thought maybe the kibble was not fresh enough so I opened a new batch of kibble. Neko-chan ate and I was relieved. After a while, she still didn't eat as much as I hoped for and again it got me worried. Monday was another public holiday (and the vet is closed on Monday anyway), I waited patiently for today and send her to the vet as quickly as I can.

From the early diagnose, it seems that it is something serious. She's already jaundiced and lost 1 kg since the last time the vet took her weight (in December). Vet told me she probably have liver and kidney problem, a blood test will show the problem more clearly. Since she was too fierce at the vet, she had to be sedated for the vet to draw her blood. I'm waiting for the call from the vet to pick her up. It's frightening, but I hope it is something that I can handle and I hope Neko-chan can get well soon. I hope she will be fine. Deep inside I realized I have no paid enough attention to them. To be honest, I was trying to be less confining and less constricting. I realized Neko-chan had some stress problem, so I let her have her freedom but I guess I didn't watch closely enough. I hope I learned my lessons. I shall wait patiently for now and hope for the best.

Kitty Journal 29 - Cats post-boarding

I SEND MY CATS FOR BOARDING! You read it correctly, I send them for boarding. I thought long and hard about Hari Raya Aidiladha and decided it's better for them to be send for boarding. Granted it burned a deep hole in my already thin pockets, I calculate carefully and saved money to send them to boarding.

To be completely honest, I was never comfortable sending my cats to other people to take care of. I've known to be very possessive and the thought of other people handling my cats just bothers me. Deep in my mind, nobody takes care of them like I do (granted I don't give them the most expensive food / grooming or vet). But I worry a lot letting them stay with strangers. Weighing facts, pro and cons I decided it was the best choice. I don't really want to trouble my parents by borrowing their car or suffering 3-4 hours of Salem loud mewing in the car. I decided to go with a petshop that provided boarding and they even came to pick up my cats (which is the most important criteria since I only have a motorbike). The cost was affordable for me and I booked a week of boarding for my cats in advanced and counted the days.

A week before they came over to pick up my cats, Sherbet show signs of stress. He was overly affectionate and kept molting. I was surprised to see Sherbet's fur everywhere in the house and whenever I pet him, more fur would fall off. He was even more vocal than usual. I guess he knew I was sending him away (although only for awhile). My other cats seems to go through their days happily without worries.

On the day they came, I can't help but feel worry. It was my first time being away for quite a long time from my furkids. The longest I've been away from them is probably 8 hours. The pick up guys were nice enough, bf & I helped put the cats into the carrier they carried. Salem as usual, loved attention (especially from strangers). Neko-chan was hissing in the carrier (I'm guessing they didn't clean the carrier properly and the smell of other cats before is still there). Sherbet struggled to escape from the carrier and ran off under the chair. I had to coax him out, carry him and assure him it was okay. It kinda break my heart to see him so scared. I gave them instructions, left them a memo in the paperbag which carries the cat food and the multivitamin for Salem & Neko-chan. When they left, the house felt so empty and quiet. It was so weird, I can't believe how lonely I felt. Although I used to live alone before, the loneliness was even more apparent now. I stare at the empty cat room and the toy that littered the floor. It was heart-ranching, I wanted to cry because I've missed them already.

The next day, I went back to my parents and everyday I counted the days I can see them back. I didn't tell anyone how worried I was about my cats. I kept picturing them running away and got hit by a car, scared being with strangers. Maybe the boarding shop caught fire and my cats were trapped.. I kept imagining the worse. But my bf assure me they are all fine and told me to wait patiently for the email or MMS they're sending. On the 6th day, I finally got a MMS from the boarding shop and saw my cats. I was glad to see they all look healthy. They missed Salem's pic and I sms them back, asking for Salem's pic. I was somewhat worried about that little banshee. The next day I got Salem's pic and laughed at Salem's picture. He looks so happy and content, all stretched out on the floor. I said to myself "Salem, you slut! I worry over you for nothing".

My cats came to me all healthy and happy the next day. Sherbet as usual is wary of strangers and ran to hide under the chair. Salem stretched out on the floor as if nothing unusual had happened. Neko-chan ran and hide. I thanked the boarding shop and hugs all my cats. It was good to see them.

After sending them to boarding, I noticed some changes. Salem has become less vocal and demanding. It was a good progress to me since he would always mew loudly for attention and became destructive before. But after sending him for boarding, he hardly ever mew for attention. He even spend his time playing by himself (either chasing scraps of paper, balls, hiding under the rug, etc). Sherbet on the other hand, became more vocal and affectionate. Some might say he's cuter for being so affectionate but I find it somewhat stifling. He would come up to me anytime he wants and mews. If I ignored him he would jump on the computer table, plopped his butt in front of the keyboard and lie down across the table and demands to be pampered. I can barely use my keyboard when he does that. He even used one of my hands as his pillows. All I can say is that, I guess he switched personality with Salem. Oh well.. at least my cats has more character now *smile*